Dining on squirrel is evidently a trend in the UK. No wonder the British have weird teeth. Serves them right for eating weird things.

The Times today gravely offended the great persimmon today (and me) in its description of my second favorite fruit: “Their mild, undistinctive flavor, vaguely reminscent of pumpkin…”

Mild?! UNDISTINCTIVE???? And, pumpkin? That comparison only works when you’re looking at color. Monsieur Author, you must have lost your taste buds in the other room. The persimmon is absolute deliciousness and has a sweet, rich, crisp flavor unlike any other fruit. (It actually tastes even better than I have made it out to be – my limited repetoire of adjectives limits my ability to describe it.)

Sigh. New York Times, I love you so but at times like these, I hang my head in shame.

So it’s only noon, I haven’t even hit up my cousin’s place for Thanksgiving yet and I’m already relatively full. Dammit. I place full blame on this stuffing I’m supposed to make for dinner tonight. As prep, I had to cut 3 baguettes into little cubes. Somehow, half the little cubes ended up in my mouth and well, I stuffed stuffing in me and am stuffed with the stuff. Stuff.

My latest food obsession is breakfast. Lillian and I developed a distinct eating plan in Russia – we ate a lot at the start of the day, enjoyed a light snack (like a nectarine) in the afternoon, and then closed out with an early dinner (read: 4:30pm – 5pm). I felt a lot healthier with the linner, so now that I’m back here in the U.S., I decided to see if I could continue with eating with an emphasis on breakfast and light dinners. While I haven’t quite maintained it, I still thought I’d rate my latest breakfast choices for you.

1) Panera egg and cheese grilled panini breakfast sandwich: A! Perfectly toasted bread, a real cracked egg. The Vermont white cheddar is a bit flavorless, but it does prevent the sammie from being too dry. My one complaint – it came out suspiciously fast: like less than a minute fast. It bothers me that all the sandwiches at Panera are pre-made, but for such a yummy sandwich, I can live with that. One scary fact: it’s 380 calories.

2) La Boulange bacon and pea quiche: D. I wouldn’t get it again. I thought a heavier breakfast might satisfy my need for a mid-morning snack, but it didn’t quite do the trick. The quiche tasted a bit stale – like Panera, La Boulange also reheats pre-made foods. The difference though, is that it never tastes quite fresh.

3) Noah’s veggie egg panini: F. The reason why I’m writing this entry – to warn you all to stay away from it! For $6.50, this was my most expensive foray into breakfast land. And it was just not good. The egg was strangely airy, holey and rubbery. The “vegetables” were tiny shards of color baked into the egg. The only flavor in this thing came from the cheese. The bread was the most awful part – it was not panini style and had that awful tough-chewy texture that results when you over-microwave bread. Oh, and the 680 calories, as I discovered after indulging, may be reason enough to stay away.

4) Safeway’s cheese danish: C+. The pastry crust isn’t too dry and flakes off even at room temperature, and I like the drizzle of icing around the ring. Something about the flavor of the cheese filling was a little off though, and its texture could use some work – perhaps a bit more crumbly instead of suspiciously smooth. As a complete package, however, it’s not that bad.

You’ll laugh (and perhaps shudder) but McDonald’s trustworthy Egg McMuffin with no Canadian bacon or margarine still ranks highly in my list of prepared breakfast foods. It’s not even bad for you.

This morning, my office’s managing director reminded me of Outstanding in the Field, which he had attended this past weekend. Essentially it’s an outdoor dining experience, where 160 guests gather on a local farm and dine at a long, banquet table, appropriately set up in a field. The whole idea is to bring these locavores directly to the source of their food, and to provide only the freshest, organic and sustainable meal. Diners also bring their own plates, but everything else is provided. My MD’s meal was provided by Nate Appleman of A16 and him and his wife were sitting across the table from Michael Chabon, too. How cool is that?

I had heard about it two years ago and have always wanted to check it out. Too bad this year’s Bay Area meals are all sold out (through November!!). Wine included, it also carries a $200 price tag per person – more than double its 2002 cost. One of these days.

The flavors work perfectly together, yet…

One is yellow. One is blue.

One is big. One is small.

One is long. One is round.

One is starchy. One is juicy.

One is firm. One is squishy.

Oh the conundrums of life.