i do not chew tobacco
My family and I visited Antietam National Battlefield in Sharpsburg, MD yesterday – the site of the bloodiest day of fighting during the Civil War.
Sharpsburg is about an hour northwest of the DC Metro area and as much as I hate to admit to this, I finally must concede that the majority of Maryland is indeed farm-like. To get there, we drove through endless fields and passed numerous red barns with cows grazing nearby. Very peaceful, very cute.
The town itself is an idyllic representation of all that is Americana. Main Street is exactly as you’d imagine: it’s lined with small businesses with shuttered windows, each proudly displaying the American flag on the front porch. To complete the scene, you’d only need little Bobby with his cute freckles and curly red hair, running down the street chasing Fido.
The visit also reminded me that I am officially a Southerner, although I will not allow the Mason-Dixon line nor my Virginian birthplace define me. East Coast, I say, East Coast!
In completely unrelated news, I’m currently typing on my sister’s PowerBook and using it actually makes me want to write an essay or short story, for fun. The artsy Apple-ness is taking over me!
“truthiness”
Facts about me…
Every now and then my face warps into the below. I used to have a difficult time undoing it, but now it only takes a few tries and I’m back to normal:
Did you know my sister and I starred in Sin City? The director unfortunately had to cut our fight scene because the men wanted to see more of Jessica Alba. I don’t get it, but whatever…
In our spare time, my siblings and I are also members of the circus. Featuring Buckteeth Christina, Monkey Man Michael, and Serena the Midget:
So all in all, the holidays have been quite eventful — my family and I were almost sucked into the Bermuda Triange, but luckily we escaped:
I’m afraid I may reveal too much about my hidden life, so let me stop here. 
ick
Spam is just no good.
1) I had it for the first time yesterday, thinking it was ham, and spit it out immediately. Actually, this was probably my punishment for considering ham. Had it been ham, the poor pig probably would have grown up with no joy in its life — penned up, mucking around in its own urine, and crying itself to sleep every night. But I’m currently in Maryland, so I temporarily lost my west coast sensibilities.
Anyway, spam is just gross, salty, gross, and salty.
2) I just deleted 92 spam messages from my gmail. Merely seeing the spam build-up in my email account causes me great ire — I realize the messages go to another folder, but it still bothers me to see so much junk mail. My gmail used to be relatively spam free until my sister gave the address away to the symphony earlier this year, opening the flood gates to the spammers of the world. Sad.
Down with spam!
i’ve been admitted!
…to City College of SF. Ok, I agree it is not that big of a feat. As my roommate put it, just as long as you live in California and have a pulse, you’re admitted.
I really miss learning in an academic environment, and there’s a Western Civ class I’d be interested in taking. I’m actually getting unnaturally excited at the idea of reading a textbook and writing papers again. My only issue is with the potentially low caliber of students and professors. One of my roommates is currently a student at City College and she warns that I may very well come across individuals that are not the brightest in the bunch, shall we say. I’m afraid I’ll get frustrated by that, so I emailed the professor to get his opinion. If he thinks I’d be ok, I’ll sign up and then assess his teaching on the first day of class. If he agrees with my reservations, then there’s a conversational French or Cantonese class I may enroll in. I’d much prefer Mandarin, but that one is all the way out on Noe St somewhere and is too difficult to get to without a car.
I’m trying to start a new trend – the end of the year resolution
be nice to telemarketers
As the holidays approach and my projects slow down (ok, who am I kidding…I’m not sure slow days necessarily correlate to the holiday season), I naively volunteered my time to help out with anything in the office. Anything is better than boredom, right?
Wrong.
I was asked to make calls on behalf of a client, offering a free copy of their software to every single company with a presence at a particular tradeshow. I was assigned H-K, have spent half the day calling and am only halfway through H. I’m not certain how many companies will be at the tradeshow, but it’s a lot — attendance is estimated at around 100,000 individuals.
With the first few calls, I improvised off the script and tried to have a conversation with whoever picked up the phone. After the 10th call, I began reading directly off the script, and after the 30th call, I stopped trying to pretend I wasn’t reading.
This one man just made me laugh though, and that slightly cheered me up. So, little children, the lesson of the day? Be nice to telemarketers!
I can’t wait to go home for the holidays.
nouns of assemblage
The classic: a gaggle of geese / The cutest: a romp of otters / The funniest: a smack of jellyfish / The weirdest: a rhumba of rattlesnakes
And then…the invented: a spackle of snowmen
Perfect for the holiday season! Words really are quite fascinating.
tchotchke
What a fabulous word. It’s cute, complicated, and quirky, all rolled into one.
This isn’t a completely random post — I’m currently developing strategy for a client that incorporates tchotchke give-aways at the tactical level, so I keep on typing the word over and over again.
Happy Friday all!
the best smells in the world
I am very sensitive and particular to smell, so I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you:
1. Clorox lemon wipes, or any type of lemon cleanser
2. Men’s cologne/men’s deodorant (Old Spice anyone? Mmm. Don’t worry, you won’t find me with my nose under people’s pits)
3. Bath and Body Works – Eucalyptus Spearmint. Everytime I use the sugar scrub, I want to eat it. I’m serious.
4. Molton Brown – Ziao Jao scent. My one excuse to use something that smells like men’s cologne, without actually using men’s cologne.
5. New leather shoe stores, hardware stores, gas stations…yum.
my cookies belong in the kitchen
Starting today, the California Milk Processors Board is engaging in an olfactory campaign, infusing five San Francisco Muni bus shelters with the scent of chocolate chip cookies. Looking at the campaign from a pure advertising perspective, I think it’s a pretty creative. The modern consumer has become desensitized to traditional advertising, and companies have to find innovative ways to reach their audience. Taking my marketing hat off though, I’m not sure I want to smell cookies on a random street. As quoted from the linked article: ”It’s going to smell like cookies and bums.” Good combo? I think not.
do you like dolmas too?
This must be my year to pay homage to the Greeks: this summer I vacationed in Greece, for Halloween I dressed up as a Grecian goddess, and last night, I went to Google’s holiday party, which had an ancient Greek theme.
The GoogOlympus was quite fantastic indeed, and my favorite part was the very non-Greek wig station in the Aphrodite room:
I was going to embarass Darren with photo of him in a wig as well, but I think I’ll play nice since he passed over his long list of lady-lovers and gave into taking me instead.
My pictures of the venue itself did not come out too well, and really wouldn’t do the party any justice. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to dream up what the tarot card/palm readers, street basketball court, shooting range, ancient theatre, mariachi band, moonbounce slide, swinging garden chairs, and putt-putt green looked like.
